in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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