Kiss
Puke
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
