Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
