I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize