whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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