I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
