ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
