hotel room ftw
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
