oh god the rape fog is back!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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