I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
