You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
