i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize