I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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