Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
