I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
