we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
