There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize