I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Everything about him screamed your future.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
