Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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