it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
