We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
