I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
