I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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