How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
