I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
