A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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