What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
