you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
