is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
