All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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