Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
