The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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