omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
