so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize