I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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