Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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