I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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