first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
