I can tuck mytits in my pants
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
