so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
