"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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