I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
