Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
