You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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