put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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