Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
