mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
