When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
