You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
