I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
