I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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