There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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