I don't remember. Are we still dating?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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