I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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