we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize