wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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