You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
