finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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