Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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