I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
