I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
