I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
