i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Vodka?
Forever.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
