Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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