Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize