piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
