sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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